We all stress and focus on being happy that it is the ultimate goal of our existence just to be happy.
Anything against it is a complete negation of being sane and being human. We fail to address the basic human instinct of feeling emotions and believe that being happy is how you do it right.
But I would say this is the illusion social media, entertainment industry and false hopes projected by people around us have created to make us fall into this trap of always seeking happiness, always trying to be happy as the opposite of it is a crime to commit.
That dares me to ask the question, if happiness is so crucial then why does sadness exist? Why is it wrong to be sad?
When we are happy we want to feel these emotions to the fullest nothing in our way to stop us but when we are sad, why we just want to escape having nothing to do with it but just somehow magically pass through it without even feeling it.
Why have we made sadness such a taboo that it is so difficult to tell someone that you are sad? You are not happy you don’t feel happy, you don’t see or find happiness around you but all you feel is sadness.
Why have we made sadness such a bad thing that we ourselves are afraid to address it? To sit with it and experience it like we do with happiness. To listen to what it has to say? why it is here? And why we feel it?
If there are reasons for happiness, there are reasons for sadness too. We just fail to see them and unable to acknowledge them.
Quran never made happiness a priority or something to look forward to in this world. It always tells us it’s something, particularly for Jannah. Yes, we will have small instances and glimpses of happiness in this world but the true place where we will have it for eternity is Jannah.
But we go against Quran and always look for Happiness which is a temporary part of this world. Whenever Quran mentions Jannah it always talks about it as a place where the believers will not grieve nor they will be sad anymore. This thing belongs to Dunya and it will be left behind in this world.
On the contrary, the thing Quran discusses the most as one of its main themes is sadness, which we have made into a taboo or weird thing to discuss or talk about. Quran discusses sadness in so many themes and Surahs that it gives you hope together with the warning that yes you will face sadness in this world because this Duniya is designed this way. It will be a strong part of this life but I will tell you how to deal with it and have patience. Quran never tells you to suppress your feelings of sadness rather it tells you through Hazrat Yaqoub’s words when he said
“I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah’. [ Quran, Surah Yousaf, Verse 86].
It is us who have made this issue so difficult and uncomfortable; snatching the breathing space from people as if being sad is a wrong thing.
Trust me it’s not, if it was, Allah wouldn’t have mentioned Hazrat Yaqoub’s sadness and pain which spanned over the period of forty years or so. He cried and cried so much. He complained and complained to Allah. He begged and beseeched him by putting his trust and hope in Allah to return his son back to him and Allah did when the right time came. We always wonder why is Allah doing this but we forget he always has a reason behind everything. Even Hazrat Yaqoub’s sadness had a reason if Hazrat Yusuf A.S would have stayed with him; he wouldn’t be the one to interpret the dream and received the honor he got from Aziz e Misr. It was Allah’s favor upon him.
If you are sad and you don’t understand why is Allah doing this remember Hazrat Yaqoub’s sadness and pain and believe Allah’s plan for Hazrat Yusuf A.S because nothing was in vain.
If you are sad and you know the reason then remember Hazrat Musa’s mother who had to throw her son away in a basket into the river just by believing Allah that he will return her son back to her and he did. He fulfilled his promise. The circumstances were difficult and unimaginable, he asked her to let go of her son and his son was exactly where she doesn’t want him to be but Allah had a reason, he had a plan for her pain and sadness as well, he planned around her sadness and calmed her heart when she was about to spill the truth out of fear. He calmed her anxious heart and returned Musa to his mother so that her heart could find peace.
“Thus did We restore him to his mother that her eye might be comforted that she might not grieve and that she might know that the promise of Allah is true: but most of them do not understand”. [ Quran, Surah Qasas, Verse 13].
Yes, Allah cared for her sad and anxious heart; he didn’t ignore it and just put her through a difficult trial. He was with her in that trial telling her to trust his promise because only his promise is indeed true.
But we fail to realize this, we fail to realize if happiness has a purpose, sadness has a reason too and until we fully accept it, experience it, sit with it and have a coffee, listen to what it wants to say and have a conversation, it isn’t going anywhere. It has a time in your life and it demands to be given as you give to happiness.
Don’t ignore emotions just because they are negative. Let them come, feel them and then let them pass. Don’t tell yourself why are you feeling this? Why are you feeling sad? Do you ever ask yourself why you are happy? Then don’t ask this too. It deserves the same space if not more than equal.