One day as I was going through my Zuhr prayer, some thoughts were running through my mind as everyone’s mind has this problem of thinking about every possible idea during Salah, so did mine. It was on the roller coaster of thoughts trying to figure out a situation that has sprung upon me, making me thinking that I should leave it and give up hope, conditioning my mind into thinking maybe this is what Allah wants, as the opposite was jus too difficult to happen and because it never happened in the past it would never happen in future too.
During this thought process, I didn’t realize it all never happened because first yes it was Allah’s SWT decree and he has divine wisdom behind what he does but also because I didn’t have faith in him that he could make situations work in my favor. He could make that happen what I wanted. It was so difficult in my head that it almost seemed impossible to ever become a reality.
I had gone so far from Allah SWT in my faith and in my bond with him, that having him on my side and believing that he could do anything for me whenever I asked him had now become a difficult thought to gulp down my throat. It felt like he was never with me and I have lost my map to go where I wished to go back desperately.
Therefore, for me, it was a natural process of negative thoughts telling me it never worked before, it never happened before, why raise your bar of expectation this time too, just leave it be and move on. Curling myself back into my safe cocoon where no harm comes, no growth happens, no risks were taken and hence no life lived.
But then something happened as I reached my tashahhud, I knew its the time when the dua is answered and somehow I remembered Hazrat Zakariya’s AS dua asking about Hazrat Yahya AS who was named by Allah SWT. I remembered how he made dua, describing his physical situation and the adversity and complications of his scenario putting his fears into words telling Allah he has never been disappointed whenever he asked him and how Allah told him through his angels he is going to have a son. Hazrat Zakariya was in an utter shock though he was a prophet, he asked how is it going to happen my wife is barren and I am in old age, Allah told him didn’t I create you when you were nothing. It’s easy upon your Rab. Subhan Allah
That single thought changed my mindset as it came on the time when I was about to make dua but not with certainty, thinking that the situation in front of me is hopeless and impossible, though it was, but then the situation in front of Musa AS was also hopeless and he was standing at a dead end, but his faith was strong and his spirits were high. When his people saw the Red Sea in front of them and Pharoah’s army behind them they said.
And when the two companies saw one another, the companions of Moses said, “Indeed, we are to be overtaken!” (Quran 26:61)
But Musa AS said
Kaala kalla, Inna Maaeya Rabbi Sayahdeen.
[Moses] said, “No! Indeed, with me is my Lord; He will guide me.”
He was certain of Allah. He believed Allah and so the miracle happened and the situation changed before the eyes of people who were with Musa AS and after Musa AS. Faith can change anything if you believe that it will.
Though my Salah was a spiral of negative thoughts in each rakah. My Salah ended with hope and certainty that I am not going to give up this time no matter what the situation is and how hopeless it may seem. It is just a matter of Kun for Allah. It isn’t like he has to create heavens and earth which too are easy for him even though I can’t grasp my mind around it as I am human and he is Ar-Rab. So I left it on him to make it happen despite the impossibilities because I would do things and try hard and come up with solutions trying to solve it and it still might not work according to the limited knowledge and power I have but He, Allah SWT, the lord of the heavens and the earth and everything that is between them, he just has to say it and it will happen.
So whenever you find yourself in a situation when it is too easy to give up and damn too hard to try and have hope, do the later, because life isn’t meant to be easy. You do not take pride on easy things, you only remember the hard and difficult stuff that pushed you to your limits when you thought you couldn’t even bear or go through it, things that gave you the courage and power to do what others might not do in your position, to believe and trust in your Rabb when you saw nothing in front of you but you saw him in your heart.
These are the experiences that will shape your life putting the Hadith of Prophet SAW of tying the camel, and putting your trust in Allah, into practice. These are the stories you will tell your kids and they will pass on to next generations to come to built an unwavering faith that will withstand the storms of difficulties and impossibilities.