So yeah I missed last week, but I am not ashamed of it. Rather than putting a rant shaping it like a blog post, it’s better that I keep my stuff to myself and not bore you with that. I wanted to put something which is constructive and can help in some way, maybe just open a window in your mind, but I felt like I wasn’t in the right emotional state to write anything, so a break was needed and though I wanted to keep consistency in posting blog posts, sometimes it’s okay to let life happen to you.
This year I have been thinking a lot about love and especially about life, where love stands in my life, am I again ready for it or not, but looking back I realized I gave so much of my life to love that I actually forgot to live. Life isn’t only about love, yes it’s a big part of it, but it’s not the only part, it shouldn’t make you think that if you don’t have love you don’t have a life, you don’t stand anywhere because by giving so much you end up not having anything for your own self to get through life. I am not saying that by giving you lose but investing in wrong places do have some consequences. Take my words you never lose by giving, no one ever does. But yes you then have to start from scratch, learning to love yourself first.
I know its been on the internet, it has become an old cliched thing to love yourself first, but to tell you the truth it’s actually damn true, I wouldn’t go exactly for the term love yourself but EXPLORE yourself so that you know what you do love and not about your own being. Because by exploring only then you realize your own standards, which you know you are never going to compromise on when you fall in love again. This happens only when you first fall in love and make mistakes and that’s okay, trust me that’s okay, as nobody said it’s gonna get right the first time, it should have hurt a lot if it was true, it taught you, it made you stronger but its all in the past, you are not what you were when you first fell for that person either right or wrong, and you can never be that person again, no matter how hard you try even if you miss it badly, like sometimes I do, but that can not happen. It doesn’t mean you are doomed to life, it just means you have become the better version of what you used to be and just because you were accustomed to that old kind of your being, you don’t find this version very polished as of now, you feel like you have ruined everything but you have not. That heartbreak was much needed to set you on the path where now you know yourself a whole lot better. So you can set yourself to aim for the stars and don’t just compromise on the crucial things where you have to give up on your dreams and an important part of you has to die just because you wanted to be with that person.
You can tell I have been thinking about this a lot lately, especially when you have the pressure to get married as soon as possible because you are getting old, I know that’s a pain in itself but does it really mean that finally when you have learnt to love yourself and kind of know what you want, you should just jump straight into marriage because it is getting late.I believe it’s not fair not only to you but to the person you will get married to or the person you see as a prospective candidate for marriage. We fail to realize that the reason behind your marriage being delayed might be because you have to reach a certain point of maturity and sensibility before you bring someone else into your life. We fail to acknowledge the fact that the person of our life also needs to grow to that point where we both can commit to each other, we both need to become what we need from each other, where we can compliment each other. It is for this very core reason you haven’t met the so-called right person, but actually, the person Allah destined for you to get married to.
You don’t have to exhaust yourself to look for that guy or girl, but yes you must keep looking and keep praying with consistency because you never know when you will stumble upon them. Trust Allah as his timing are always perfect, I have experienced it and you must have too. He knows exactly when to blow your mind away with his majesty and power leaving you wondering Woah! I never thought it would work out in this way.
Sometimes you are so heartbroken you come to the point of isolating yourself thinking, maybe this isn’t for me but in reality that’s not the case, it is just shaitan trying to trick you into thinking Allah has left you and doesn’t care about you and your wishes, dreams, and needs. He does, he always has, he always will. The purpose of this life is to endure, to have patience because this life isn’t perfect, it isn’t designed to be perfect, so stop looking for perfection in this world because it’s meant for Jannah. Look for his signs, his help, his pleasure and he will make way for you and provide you from where you did not expect. Your wedding ceremony might not be perfect, the flowers arrangement may fail big time, the Dolli you booked for mehndi might not arrive on time, the videography and photography team you hired might not take the perfect pictures and capture the right moments, but all of this is going to be left behind in this world, you are not going to take your wedding video to your grave so don’t overwhelm and stress yourself about it. You are going to take those memories with you, the time you spent with your spouse and if it was a beautiful one, he or she might pray for your akhirah and wishes to reunite with you in Jannah one day. Worry about having that kind of relationship which you must be longing for.
Love of this kind completes your Iman when he is your husband or wife. When they miss how you made them feel about themselves, the love and sincerity you held in your eyes for them, about making it easy to choose between right and wrong, making them think about life and death, about hope and fear, having your back when no else would do that for them. That hand whose grip got tighter when storms came. You need that kind of love which pushes you to grow in all directions and doesn’t hold you back. The love which takes you to Jannah and not out of it.
And this love will come when you are ready and so is he, then Allah says “Kun Fayakun” (be and it is).
“Kun Fayakun” (be and it is) and it will be.
But until he doesn’t say it, don’t bang your head thinking why it isn’t happening until it happens you have the time to become what you ought to become before you meet them. Until then learn what you wanted to learn, what you always wanted to do, whatever your aspirations and dreams are, work on them because that’s love too but of some other kind. Work on your passion which drives you crazy, which keeps you awake at night thinking how can you do it, how can you achieve your milestones of successes. What can you do to become the best version of yourself you believe in before anyone else acknowledges it. In regards to your personal, social or any expect of life, aim to be one of the best followers of the kindest and most compassionate man Hazrat Mohammed (SAW) to ever walk on earth and learn from him how he loved every single soul he met. Then loving so hard won’t consume you but content you.