I’ve never been an animal friendly person ever in my life and I know it might sound a bit weird to you, but the truth is I always lived in an environment where there weren’t much animals specially dogs who always scared the hell out of me anyway. So when it came to other animals like cats , I wasn’t a big fan of them either because the truth is I have never even touched a cat in my life, just because it felt weird. I was always afraid of them and I still am. I didn’t go to the places where there were cats or dogs, people who had them I never met them, even when they were holding there cats or dogs I wouldn’t get any closer, in short I just avoided them at my best.
But thats not what this post is about. It is indeed about the cat but not in the way I have started it. It is about a cat who has come to my building and without my knowledge or interest has developed a place in my heart and in the building corridor where I expected it the least.
It all started from a little moew meow and some wandering here and there when we were coming in or going out of our building. So we mostly or should I just say me, mostly sooshed her away or tried to pass by her being scared. A few days later when her moew moew didn’t stop, my mother started feeding her occasionally, either with milk or with left over chicken pieces. When we tried giving her the food she herself was so terrified that she’ll run away or walk backwards and when we would disappear from the scene she’ll come back and eat it. Later we didn’t pay attention to her much we gave her something when we had any food for her and at other times we forgot she is even there.
But now as the winter was approaching so did she approached us with a different strategy when she realized we aren’t paying much attention. She became focused and determined or should I say persistently (dheet) desperate for us to feed her.
So when anyone of us were going out or coming back she was on the front door standing attentive to greet us or should I say threatening us that how could we go anywhere without first feeding her. Her meow meow was our Alarm clock or rather a reminder to know she is hungry waiting to be fed. At times when I was going somewhere and it wasn’t her time to be fed she would still come and circle around me not letting me go, so I had to go back and give her, her snack.
Even though I have never been a fan of cats I started feeling for her when it would get cold, when she would sit on the mat outside our flat to keep herself warm, I was worried if I should giver her something to get comfy or should I bring her in which I dreaded also because it wasn’t something I was fond of. From meal prepping for her in the morning to giving her whatever I could find like nuggets, sausages and milk , I realized her determination had opened a window in my heart to look for something deeper than just the fact of feeding her and to that I wasn’t paying much attention.
As it got more colder she would stay inside the building sitting just by our apartment or in the corridor or under the stairs and would come running as she heard us unlock the door. Her repetitive meow meow sometime became an irritating sound so I’d hurry in giving her the food because she was hungry and needed it and on other incidents I wanted her to keep meowing for long so that I could tease her and get amused because I like how she hugged and snuggled herself around my feet and legs just to get attention and to feel loved.
Her love and determination for us even, though it had a hidden agenda behind it to be fed on time and to be cared for brought an awareness and light to my heart that if a cat could be so unforgivably passionate about something she needs and can come up with different strategies to get my attention so that her mission is fulfilled, can’t we be a cat to our Creator who not only feeds us but loves us more than I could ever care for or love that cat.
If she is so optimistic that I will feed her no matter what can’t I be persistent when it comes to what I want from Allah, when she is not hopeless even though I am not the one feeding her but Allah, I’m only the means, why am I so hopeless when it comes to to asking from the source it self and not the means. Why am I so dependent on the means when it should be the opposite because he holds all the kingdoms and provisions and treasures. Why can’t I just sit on his door and keep meowing until he responds because may be if he is delaying the response it could be that he likes to hear my meow more the way I like to hear my cat’s meow moew. If she can be a determined cat to her owner, why can’t I be a determined slave to my Creator.
Only if I could be like that cat, that I become unforgivably dedicated about my faith and needs, and hang in there, sitting on that door mat, day and night, knocking it, moewing, that he finally opens the door…
and by the way I have opened that door for her, as I have moved to a new house, I have brought her here with me, because of her repetitive moew moew and sitting on the door mat, I developed feelings for her and I care for her not like my Creator does but as one creation should care for another. I just pray that as she has a place in my heart where she is loved. Allah has a place with him for me where I’am loved by him and that can only happen when I keep on knocking at his kingdom’s door persistently and consistently knowing he is on the other side listening.